sweet little ramona.

“Good times for a change
See, the luck I’ve had
Can make a good man
Turn bad

So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time

Haven’t had a dream in a long time
See, the life I’ve had
Can make a good man bad

So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time”

(Source: cuntroversy)

As I sat enjoying my lunch of chinese food with a side of coke a man in his mid 50’s/60’s asked if he could join me at my lunch table.
I say yes, ready to pull an excuse out of my imaginary hat if needed.
“I wanted to tell you that you are beautiful” says he, his deep wrinkles visable within a caramel toned face
“I bet a lot of men come up to you and tell you this all the time”
I shake my head and say “no”, blush and go about sipping on my soda at my side.
“Well, they should. They are probably much too shy to say anything”
I thank him once again.
“You should really consider modeling - you have such a look too you. I’m sure all the guys in this lunch area can agree you are beautiful. I can just tell that every man here is thinking that”
I laugh awkwardly.
Man calls to his 80/90 yr old father a table away. “Isn’t she the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?”
The man turns, you can feel his joints ache as he turns his body - his eyes darting.
He smiles, allowing the wrinkles to form on top of each other, he shakes yes.
“You see?” says the man.
“Honestly, just by looking at you I can tell you that you will be successful in whatever you do. You look like an absolute goddess. Even if your job was selling the stockings off your feet - there are guys who would pay hundreds for them just because you touched them”

..The conversation went on for a couple min; I explaining I act, He explaining/convincing me I will be some one fantastic.

In life, I tend to appreciate the little things.
This old man decided to interrupt his day to make mine a little brighter.
Didn’t hit on me or shoot any passes - as prior judgement may be - just wanted to come over and tell me to him I was beautiful.
When I called to tell my mom of my odd little conversation with this old man her response was
“I always believed in angels”

ha. oh mom. 

(Source: sfranciscolover)

“A breathe of air so sweet that its tickles the tip of tongue
You’ve got me on my feet that my heart is ever strung”

I feel many have forgotten how to love.
How to really observe the little things
The birth marks placed crooked on the body
The ears so delicatly fashioned on side the head
The way someone walks as if in a rush, their body quickly following, toodling forward with each walk
the way a person covers their mouth when laughing too hard, the way the laugh sounds, the vibrations, the impact
The nervous habits someone has yet to break, the nail biting, child blankie..

I like watching people.
people are such beautiful creatures
Some opposites of others in dress, look, attitude..
I still see beauty in everyone.
I see what someone will see in them.
I see that they are truly beautiful.

I feel there’s no such thing as wasting love.
Wasting it, as if it was some exotic chocolates that were only edible for one day.
Love is not something you can waste- if anything it should be used in abundance!
Love more rather then less.
I’ve loved once and I’ll love more.
I’ll love all the beautiful people that quietly love all the other, wandering aimlessly for each other.
Accidently bumping into each other - love mates as it were.
I believe in lots of things but above all,
I believe in love.

(Source: amisguidedghost, via asiajewel)

“Relax,
Just do it”

what a song, what a thought.
As my hand run through planners, eyes dart at watches/clocks, feet pressed firmly against car pedals.
The music each morning is comforting, the sudden traffic breaks predicted, the 4pm headaches that are tossed back with iced teas
How does one relax?
Does this entail staying in bed till late, rolling naked in clean sheets, hiding deep within the down comforter?
Or perhaps one relaxs in nature - smelling the roses, daises, bright green grass that warms the hills.
Its not easy being an adult
Not easy being a workoholic, working on school, dreams and life.
But I would never change it.
I would never want to be anyone else.
Because being envious of someone can only lead you to nowhere
I enjoy being me.
I’m proud of me.
I know I will succeed.

It’s hard to see others around me stuck with no dreams , aspirations, hopes for themselves
without dreams you have nothing..
How can one NOT dream?!

We as people should always want the best for ourselves, want to see ourselves succeed.
What’s the point of being given a life, when we aren’t productivly living it?
being happy, reaching goals, following the impossible?

I enjoy being busy.
I enjoy being able to say that i’m making it happen for myself.
That whatever I want/need I can have, that school is almost finished, that I can afford great training for my craft.
This right here is my golden years.
and no one/ nothing will bring me down.

(Source: plansareboring)

I seem to have a pattern.
When it comes to men that is.
You see In the language of the Archie comics
I’m Betty.
and not Veronica.
Translation in English
I chase Archie, Archie doesn’t chase me.
For again, I’m not Veronica.
I told this to my best friend today and she said I was much too uppity.

Now, my follow up question to her was if she thought I was on some kind of drugs - this was not what she thought.

“Uppity” eh?
I’ll admit I’m impatient.
I’m not waiting for some superstar to straighten his shades just right and walk up my way .
I know what I want and I go for it.
I’m beginning to think this confidence in a young female like myself is frowned upon.
Apparently I need to wait and not rush into things.
I can’t see a problem with my thinking. 
Then again, I’m still Betty making a cake for Archie as he hangs out with Veronica.
I am still that little bimbo thinking I have everything in the palm of my hand while I’m just the one without it.

I really don’t know how to change this predicament I am finding myself in.
I like what I like and I don’t have time to wait around and wait for a interested suitor.
Apparently, this isn’t normal.
The “norm” is when the caveman falls for girl and whisks her away.

I asked my friend the other day if I should ask this guy out for dinner, my treat. He said I was absolutely crazy for even thinking that was ok.
Last I checked times were changing and who says women must still fit in a certain “mold” that society has created! 
I am not ever going to be a Veronica if this means I have to be a plastic barbie mold just amused by passing suitors
We all know Archie ended up with Betty.
so..

ha.

I choose jew.

I believe that in my short existence thus far that people that are jewish are by the far the most attractive people.
Perhaps I can thank my Greenwich village roots and going to P.S 41 which equaled to my brother and I being the only non jews in our class.. BUT, that aside.
This is serious.
The problem that has came up is that I am not jewish.
and what’s worse - I’m not even religious.
I’m one of those agnostic dip shits who keep thier mouths quiet when someone raves about jesus and one who sternly pushes flyers away handed out by god lovers.
What a brat I know.
I’m not even religious and yet, I’m still into Jewish men.
I wish I could go on the jewdate dating site and find my match.
Yet, I feel that we would meet and have a awkward conversation about being jewish (I only knowing facts of wikipedia) and would result in I making a fool of myself and he angry at my childish attempt on landing a nice jewish man.
That’s the other issue.
Jewish men are beyond nice.
Like overly polite.
In elementary school (P.S 41) I was the biggest dork.
Like I wore a kimono for my 3rd grade picture (This again was a fore shadow for my 30% of the asiamericans I am into)
Anywho everyone was always so sweet to me.
They left me alone..
#foreveralone.
Ok pause.

resume.
Being non religious and non mexican.
I didn’t have any coming of age celebration
My friends all had bar mitzvah and there I was
A little czech american non religious (well my family was just I threw a fit every time we had to go)
with no bar mitzvah.
I’ve always wanted one
But, having one now still not being jewish would again add to my “dork” image.
I believe the only way to capture such a beautiful race is to in fact become jewish.
But, then again I’m agnostic.
This won’t work.
And the rest of the agnostics are just as bitter as me
They won’t do.
Well, new year
If I had one wish
I want a guy
(he doesn’t have to be my boyfriend I understand asking for much)
and he must be jewish.

List of famous jewish men for you all to understand such love:
Jesse Eisenberg, Drake, Andrew Garfield, Joseph Gordon - Levitt, Jake Gyllenhaal, Seth Rogen, Raviv Ullman, Ben Savage, Anton Yelchin, James Franco, Dave Franco, Andy Samberg.

(Source: deadpoool)

Kiss the lips now stone and cold.
The passion cracked, the lust old.
Kiss the statue of what had
become between the happy and sad.
Love what had been and not what is
For in the present, you are not his.
You are merely at statue yourself as he
A sheer body of the memory
You are a cast of what is not
You are still, as he forgot.
He in form as you and I
Stands regal not batting one single eye
His head is turned
His mouth wide, finger spread
Lovely hair upon thine head
He speaks
and such beauty spills throughout his lips
His lovely hands perched on his hips
He talks and talks until he is through
and waves beckoning unto you
In which you stand dressed to a T 
You wave your hand “you mean to me?”
In which he enjoys, his eyes glisten
He turns a ear and wants to listen
“Oh what things to say!” you laugh and cheer
For you never want to leave this here.
Here in this place of “maybe so”
Here in this place you’ll never go.
maybe so.
When the talks are all done.
And you’ve both had your fun
He wishes you a fond “farewell!”

And you continue dreaming what life will never tell.

(Source: archenland, via asiajewel)